Best StepfamilySystems.com Day Yet!

Well, finally, after my fifth show, I feel like I am beginning to relax as a talk show host! Oh, I have plenty of growth ahead of me, but I love the feedback. To hear others say they are benefitting from the show, I could ask for little more – my husband wants to see me have a syndicated show on radio! Not yet, but I am confident I will arrive in due time. I still have much to learn on the broadcast board and awkward little moments to conquer.

Pass the great news: StepfamilySystems.com had its best day ever. Our improved website, products and research are finally making a place in the hearts of people out there.

StepfamilySystems.com: Your stepfamily’s planning HUB, a place to begin to blend or begin again!

~ Tricia

StepfamilyMom’s 100 Things

StepfamilyMom’s 100 Things

Can be found at StepfamilySystems.com on August 20.

What do you say, Mary? A plea from stepmom to the biological mom.

As I write this, I sit in frustrated wonder about the agony poor post-divorce relationships create for everyone. I hurt especially for my husband and his three oldest children who have been robbed of valuable relationships by past unresolved issues. The less-than-pleasurable relationships between their parents and stepparents have all been unnecessary and harmful. It has also hurt their youngest two siblings, added through my marriage to their dad. I know it is time to just let the past go, but when the past continues to influence today, can anyone tell me how to make that happen? I have struggled with this for years as a much-despised second wife. I am certified as a Family Mediator, and I ache at the injustice of our situation. I can call it as I see when I am working as a stepfamily assimilation planner at StepfamilySystems.com, but in my own family I have been handicapped.

I feel I am despised because of the things that have been said through the years, as well as reported falsely in court-related transcripts; wow, that was painful beyond words. I can only imagine the extent of the parental and stepparent alienation that has occured through the years. What’s worse is I am a woman of faith and I am reminded by the adversary to my faith, that I am falling short every day in the area of victory. I combat that with the scripture I have stored up over the years in my heart. So, why have things not worked out after almost 25 years of marriage? Let’s take a real and honest look at this. I guess I need to heed my own advice and redefine my definition of what a family victory looks like for our family.

At first, victory was defined as co-parenting together and being able chat and laugh together at family functions for the children and future grandchildren. It was shopping together to throw fabulous parties together for their milestones growing up; well, that didn’t happen.  It is not necessary to be BFFs, but civility is not too much to accomplish. Who wants to miss granchildren’s birthday parties or be left not to enjoy weddings, graduations and the like? There are grandchildren now who we only know through Internet photos.

“Let go, and let God”, I say to myself all day long, but I constantly return to thinking about the unfairness of our situation. I am frustrated because I have never had anyone dislike me as much as my husband’s ex. I am of the mind-set as a mediator that it is better for children, that their stepparents at least like and want to care for them, and hopefully love them, too. Then everyone is happy, well cared for and burdens shared throughout life. Biological mothers might be left with some insecurity, but that is a consequence of divorce. When you just don’t wish to be married any longer, okay, embrace your freedom, but you will give up things you want full control over in your children’s lives. That’s the way it is with divorce.

Let’s call my husband’s ex “Mary” – that’s a beautiful name and my husband saw something beautiful in her during the late 1970s, or he would not have married her. I will refer to the five kids we have, combined, as Oldest Daughter, Oldest Son, Middle Son, Youngest Daughter and Youngest Son. The oldest of these five are my children-in-step and the youngest two are from this marriage. I would lay my life down for any of these five, including their father. Love is sacrificial and not self-centered, although the quality of love you can give is centered in your state of being. Think on that for just a moment…

I have sent numerous letters and E-mail throughout the years letting Mary know that we will always leave the door open for restoration. This was for her and her current husband as much as it was for the children, grandchildren and our household. I have tried to facilitate healing in and across our two households. To a certain extent, I can see how Mary might dislike me so much. Here the ink was barely dry on the divorce papers she had served my husband in 1983, when we were introduced by a mutual friend who knew we were hurting over similar situations in our most recent broken relationships. The second I hit the enter button or mail a note, I think, Now, how far do you think this is really going to get anyone? They’ll never accept you after all this time. They blame you. My gut tells me to pack it in and give up, but my heart tells me otherwise.

All I had to compare to at the time I became a second wife in my first-and-only marriage was the stepfamily into which I had been adopted when the stepfamily I had been born into failed. Yeppers, I am the product of a broken family, too, which is why I thought I would make a compatible second wife and a dependable mom-in-step. Moreover, I assumed the two households of my family-in-step would just parent together with the children being our shared, priority interests. Everyone would absorb the sense of being family similar to the one where I had known growing up where no “step” labels adversely impacted our family grouping. Oh, not so! Along with my personal experience with stepfamily living, I have also earned my certification in Family Mediation from among the best in the field, Forrest “Woody” Mosten. I supposed this compounds my nagging sense of failure. But it is not my failure to carry alone. All the parents contributed in some way or another, somehow the whole dump lands on me as the outspoken stepmother.

Mary has not wanted to participate in real peace-making. In my estimation, peace would leave the door open to discovery of her past misstatements about how things really went down and prospectively in the years since. Being the outspoken one, I put myself on the plank; I made myself the target for destruction by continually trying to facilitate restoration.  It was a risk I willingly took and still belive in because I know God is bigger than all the world’s human problems combined. However, I have learned you can’t fix someone else’s misspoken words; they have to do that, and you can’t make someone accept a peace they don’t want to embrace.

We all want those around us to like and continue to love us. No one wants to be blamed for the break-up of their family, so our natural defense systems kick in and things are said and done that, perhaps, would not be our normal mode of operation. Hence, my husband and I have extended ourselves repeatedly to open discussions which facilitate healing that Mary wants no part of to this day. We are willing to be on the same field of discussion. Certainly there are things all of us could have done differently. For me, I should have listened more and talked less and not given words that could be reconsturcted into meanings I did not intend.

Now, listen. Shouldn’t there come a time where we lay down the past, straighten out the crooked stories which rob relationships of value and treasures and move forward? Would’ve, could’ve and should’ve doesn’t get us very far. Here’s my point. We all have said and done things we wish would have gone down differently – is this not so? Really, I know no one who has lived the perfect life – well, no one except for Jesus, that is. And He had to come to earth and give it all up so we could have restoration with God. Let’s face it, our flesh apart from the Spirit of God, is an ugly, self-centered existence. The fruit of that restoration He provided is the ability to experience renewal with our fellow mankind, too.

Guess I am learning that some people don’t want peace for reasons of their own. Had we all come together years ago and discussed all these hurt things, assumptions and fears, we could all be getting along well today. There would be no more unresolved issues hiding under the carpet ready to come out and trip anyone anymore. Addressing concerns, feelings and fears disarms their power to keep hurting. Somehow, my request for family meetings throughout the years has been misconstrued as a power play for control. Yes, I would like to push the healing button. I will own that statement.

Mary, you know who you are (I am sure there are many Marys out there) can’t we get along? The misstatements and misunderstandings from all angles have robbed your children and their father of precious years. You said, I said, he said, they said … isn’t it time to clear the air? A fresh start means starting with a clean slate. Let’s bring in a therapist-mediator, gather the family and face this things head-on and take back the power to be a big extended family; we can make things better from here on out. What do you say, Mary?

Stepfamily Focal Points: ACES

What are ACES: Stepfamily Focal Points? I’ve never heard of them before?

Stepfamily focal points are the core points that emerged from my own 24-years+ of marriage-in-step and our family-in-step challenges as well as from the conversations and hours of research about stepfamily failures and accomplishments.

There are four each: A C E S. The core four are:

1) ATTITUDE   Attitudes reflect the hearts of family members in both the immediate and the co-parenting households. Bad attitudes are like the yellow or red, flashing, caution lights at intersections. If you ignore them, you run the risk of a crash.

2) COMMITMENT How do your words, body language and overall physical presence reveal that you are committed to the family?

3) EFFORT What have you done to demonstrate commitment to overcoming difficulties? Fight? Walk away? Cut off communication? No. these are not efforts that will prosper. Seeking support resources that will work for your family (not just what is good for your comfort and needs) and accomplishing the Stepfamily Assimilation Plans available at StepfamilySystems.com are success efforts in forward motion.

4) SYSTEMS   There are many systems at work simultaneously in and between your children’s households. You need to identify them, develop a SWOT section for each system in your Stepfamily Assimilation Plan and implement the actions.

By these four you should be able to measure for changes needed to succeed.

These I have given you with no required investment because I, too, live the stepfamily life. My research and people have helped us along the way. For the entire ACES program, go to StepfamilySystems.com and follow the directions!

Be sure to tune into “Stepfamily Straight Talk” beginning July 25 at 11:00 a.m. – 11:50 a.m., pst, at NewDayTalkRadio.com. Stepfamilymom’s Weblog posts are opinion, life experience and observation based. They are not meant to be taken as financial, legal or psychological advice. You are encouraged to seek out professional advice before taking action on any similar situations you might face and read about in the blog.  (C) 2009 - No part of this posting is permitted to be copied or transferred in any form without the written consent of the author.

Parental Alienation Show: Re-Done!

Challenged Start.

           I received a phone call last week saying my talk show was lost in transmission to GA for its uploading to the “Stepfamily Talk” page at NewDayTalkRadio.com. It was a bit of a let down seeing how at the close of the show and mikes down, that the station manager said it was a good solo show. The show is so new, I don’t have stepfamily service professionals and organization representatives knocking at my door to share their services or be guest- co-hosts in large numbers – yet.  Plus, I am in the learning curve of knowing how to manage the show’s broadcast board. Things are a little bumpy in the beginning, but I know things worth having or sharing don’t always come easy.  

          Week one, Susan Swanson of the Stepfamily Center in Beverly Hills and I went the entire show without a break because I didn’t remember how to take the station breaks. Last week I left my note card over the call-in line lights. Today, as I took in the broadcast board in front of me, I focused on my material – trying to change it up a little from last week – and I forgot to announce the call-in line phone number. SO do you think next week I will have learned all my lessons as a talk show host? We’ll see!    

Determined to “bring it” for your family’s success.

           After getting to the station with time to spare this morning, my hubby and I had a couple of freshly made Jack-in-the-Box breakfast sandwiches. It was nice and cool at the Harbor Gateway. The breeze blowing into the vehicle’s window was calming until I realized we needed to arrive on time for the broadcast in less than 15 minutes and now we would cut it close!  Cramming down the remainder of my sandwich, I was ferociously making last minute arrow marks and cross outs on my notes from last week as I tried to incorporate my new ones for the “Re-do” show so that repeat listeners would have a reason to stay. I made my last scribble and said, “Okay, I’m ready!”

          Now you might not think it is much of big deal to feel prepared, if I have the courage to do talk radio, to actually deliver the program.  But, if I can’t get something in the hands of listeners which is applicable to their lives week to week, why do the show? I am certainly not doing it for fame – my lack of political correctness rubs some people the wrong way. My goal is to support the success of as many listeners weekly as I can with at least one shred of information that could contribute to having hope, faith and courage to stay emotionally connected another day.  If I don’t please everyone, oh well! No one I know has accomplished such a feat – people are just too different.

          As we walked in, there was an unfamiliar person preparing my show intro. I looked around for the familiar face and was told she would be my new manager. Great, got to roll with the flow and keep the show on the road. That’s what we did. I fumbled a bit as I lost my own path through the notes, due to the changes for today, but all ended well.  When I hung my headphones back on their rack and slid the sound buttons to off, the new manager said it was good show, delivered with confidence. I don’t know how much confidence moved me, but my passion for helping stepfamilies assimilate faster, easier and with fewer fights and increased peace so the children can be the best students they can be, living in as emotionally and physically safe an environment possible is the drive behind my delivery.

          I want to hear from you – it is your show, it is for you. What do you want addressed? I know in these challenged economic times, that bringing you resources for no charge could make the difference in your family’s success this week. I am bring you the show because of my immediate family’s willing sacrifice, so if you have connections to any family-minded businesses, or corporations that would sponsor the broadcast airtime, please have them go to: www.StepfamilySystems.com!

Be sure to tune into “Stepfamily Straight Talk” beginning July 25 at 11:00 a.m. – 11:50 a.m., pst, at NewDayTalkRadio.com. Stepfamilymom’s Weblog posts are opinion, life experience and observation based. They are not meant to be taken as financial, legal or psychological advice. You are encouraged to seek out professional advice before taking action on any similar situations you might face and read about in the blog.  (C) 2009 - No part of this posting is permitted to be copied or transferred in any form without the written consent of the author.

Preparation for Stepfamily Straight Talk Meets Challenge Today

A Most Challenging Day 

          So, I wake up thinking that today is going to be an easy day with some room for preparation for tomorrow’s Stepfamily Straight Talk where I am doing a double – back-to-back shows – on Parental Alienation Syndrome because last weeks part one was lost in transmission for uploading to the website. But as you suspect, things began to go wrong. 

          To supplement our income while waiting for the talk show and its corresponding website to grow and provide for their costs and my return to full-time enrollment at Argosy University, I had to leave my current employer of two-and-a-half years. I don’t really like change but I have gotten pretty good at taking it as it comes. I was fortunate to have a couple of other job offers from which to choose. 

          I’m driving in to complete my “new hire” package about 38 miles south of here and I realize I left the laptop at home; I needed it to download programs for my new job. Argh. Too late to turn around, I just kept going. As I exited the freeway, I realized I had left the addressed business card next to the computer while getting Mapquest directions! I had handwritten the direction without the address of the business card. Double-argh!

           After I completed the paperwork I had to go to Social Security offices because I haven’t seen my card in years and it is requirement for employment. Before going there, I had to stop by my current office to close out my files. Sounds easy, doesn’t it? After my tearful good-bye, I hopped into my car, turned the key and – nothing! Not even groans to let me think it was trying to turnover and get me to the Social Security office by 4:00! Back upstairs to call Auto Club.

           Auto Club was unusually busy today and the wait would be at least 30 precious minutes! Sure enough 35 minutes later, a van shows up to jump my battery and send me on my way. One problem – the lights were coming on and so was the radio I had been listening to without panic until it hit both of us that if the battery was working, it must be something more costly to fix, and for which I would certainly not have time for today.

           Driver one tinkers around, giving it his best shot. However, he had to call a tow truck driver, who – you guessed it – was at least 30 minutes away because it was an unusually busy day. Driver one told driver two that I had a sort of desperation about me to get to the Social Security offices. When driver two pulls up his own 30-minutes later, it was his turn to ask questions and put his point finger and thumb to his chin. Long story short, and several more precious minutes later, he returned from his flatbed with a long-armed wrench in hand and told me to turn the key. If the car started, I would be looking at a starter problem. Simultaneously, as I am turning the key hi is clinking and clanking and the car started! He sent me on my way – no charge! Wow, will I send more business to them? You bet I will!

           New problem – gas light has been on since this morning and as I sat in line because all 16 spots were filling-up, I realized I couldn’t stop the engine because it might not start again. So I pushed that car to the Social Security office on prayers; I arrived with six minutes to spare, ran in, got my print out showing I am a legally able to work in the country and ran back out to the car. I plucked my keys from my purse – not worried for a second the car would not start – pushed them into place and … nothing. To kill time I called my new boss saying I was now a bit commute challenged. 

          Don’t know what will happen come Monday morning, but I am just happy to be beginning a new leg of my lending career as I pray for Stepfamily Straight Talk and StepfamilySystems.com to take off and fly high, helping hundreds, if not thousands, of people annually.

           I had to exercise what I recommend today. I had to capture my thoughts and make them go in the direction I most wanted rather than allowing them to carry me off into never-never land when prosperity would surely have hidden in the midst of the day’s challenges.

           So, I will be up all night completing my show material for tomorrow. Who needs sleep anyway? 

~ StepfamilyMom

Be sure to tune into “Stepfamily Straight Talk” beginning July 25 at 11:00 a.m. – 11:50 a.m., pst, at NewDayTalkRadio.com. Stepfamilymom’s Weblog posts are opinion, life experience and observation based. They are not meant to be taken as financial, legal or psychological advice. You are encouraged to seek out professional advice before taking action on any similar situations you might face and read about in the blog.  (C) 2009 - No part of this posting is permitted to be copied or transferred in any form without the written consent of the author.

Week two of Stepfamily Straight Talk – PAS, Parental Alienation Syndrome

Wow! Week two came and went so fast. I was nervous driving into the station - well, my husband was driving as I poured through my notes. I was wondering about the flow of the show with a single host. You know what? It was okay! I didn’t get through all the show material, but there were fewer of those strange silent moments this week – only the planned ones reigned.

Just like a stepfamily grows together as it spends time together, I am growing and working on perfecting my delivery, content, etc. I am excited to think of where we will be in terms of followers and listeners by this time next year as well as on twitter.com/stepfamilytalk.  How many people will find us and have access to the resources and information I share and fair better because they hear about Stepfamily Straight Talk and StepfamilySystems.com?

How many children will be doing better in school because their parents are no longer suffering as greatly? Reduced suffering in silence, suffering alone when everyone has left the house, suffering while driving to work about the loneliness, rejection, fears and uncertainties that plague their hearts?

Life is good when you plan, when you prepare for the future. Preparation reduces stress. The thought of having another earthquake on the San Andreas is no sweet occurrence – but with food in the kit and water in the garage, I know we can survive a few days while we wait for utilities to come back up. Likewise, when you have you stepfamily assimilation plan in place, life just gets better. Get yours at StepfamilySystems.com.

Today on Stepfamily Straight Talk, I touched on Parental Alienation Syndrome, which is a form of stealing. Yes, I said it – stealing; it is stealing from the hearts of your children the freedom to give and receive love - without guilt - from the other parent’s household. Deatils on PasKids.com. An example of parental alienation sydrome would be, for a real example, when your child is hanging up from a phone conversation with their other (target) parent, the alienating parent hears the child say, “I love you, dad.” The alienating parent will say something to the effect of, “Oh, you don’t have to say that, honey.” Or, an alienating parent will overdramatize a pick up or drop-off exchange of information to gain the sympathies and protectiveness - hence, alliances – of her/his children. 

Show replays are available on Wednesdays, however, we have to re-tape this show as it was lost in transmission to be uploaded for replays. Nice things is you are never without a sincere voice of someone who has been there – and in some ways is still there – to help reset your state of mind. I will be bringing stepfamily (and shared-custody) peers and professionals to you intermittently throughout the year and providing links to other sources of support for your family’s success.

From one StepfamilyMom to another Stepfamily member, I wish you the best.  Take control and live to the fullest.

Be sure to tune into “Stepfamily Straight Talk” beginning July 25 at 11:00 a.m. – 11:50 a.m., pst, at NewDayTalkRadio.com. Stepfamilymom’s Weblog posts are opinion, life experience and observation based. They are not meant to be taken as financial, legal or psychological advice. You are encouraged to seek out professional advice before taking action on any similar situations you might face and read about in the blog.  (C) 2009 - No part of this posting is permitted to be copied or transferred in any form without the written consent of the author.

Stepfamily Journal Reflections

• StepfamilyMom is a firm believer in journaling as a means of “venting” – but, you might not want to go back and relive the moments you unleashed. Better to unleash on paper than on your family and toss the paper afterward.
• Stepparents, frequently, are not afforded the forgiveness biological parents enjoy.  The quality of restoration reflects the state of minds and hearts of those with whom you interact.
• The past ought to be a springboard to your future, not a hammock to craddle hurts… (this is from a deviotional calendar)
  What is your mindset?
• There is power in our choices – beginning with what we think!

Learning To Be a Stepfamily Talk Show Host

Wow! Yesterday was the first day of Stepfamily Straight Talk. I can only give a huge volume of thanks to Susan Swanson of the Stepfamily Center in Beverly Hills, CA, for being my willing first guest co-host. The show had great information. Flow of the last 20 minutes was a bit of a challenge!

          On Wednesday I drove into Gardena, CA where the little studio overlooks an old 1940′s or 50′s main street. No problem! No traffic on the 91. You would think a Saturday morning on the 91 in So Cal would be pretty open, but we left 15 minutes earlier than planned just to be on the safe side.  The station is 57 miles from my home.

          My husband and I hit an accident just 20 minutes into the commute. Almost 45 minutes later and only about 15 miles into the commute and few words exchanged between my husband I about who should drive, I called the station saying they might have to start without me!  Oh my gosh. I am reminded that my parents used to always say nothing worth having comes easily or cheaply. I have struggled through years due from a variety of hardships, but have always remained committed to bringing something a bit different yet powerful to support stepfamily success. The traffic was not going to stop us. The show would go on.

          Amazingly, once we got beyond the congestion near our home, we flew from there on to the end of 91 freeway and made our right turn onto Vermont filled with joy over the time we made up for travelling in the fast lane! Susan and her husband arrived only a few minutes later with smiles on their faces. The station manager was giving me last minute pointers regarding the broadcast control board. We chatted and relaxed and the show began.

          It started off well enough, but I realized the importance of the service and suddenly butterflies spread their wings in my belly. The first half-hour flew by and as the station manager tried to assist me with sticky notes, I realized the material I had brought in had been covered because I forget to take any station breaks! I looked over to the call-in line and forgot how to answer as the green lights were blinking. Oh my goodness. Again, the show must go on. My mind raced for ways to keep the communication going. For the first time in a long time, my Chatty-Cathy mind failed me… I caught Susan’s directive eyes, whose therapist’s eyes encouraged me. It would soon be concluded. Hmmmm, so what did I learn from my first broadcast?

          Researching and outlining show material takes a lot longer than presenting it.   I have to remember to take the commercial breaks so we don’t run short of the program delivery time. And, I learned my love for and desires to encourage stepfamilies to succeed and reduce their stress are here to stay. Hence, Stepfamily Straight Talk will eventually work out its bugs so that it, too, will be here to stay. Now, I just need some broadcast sponsors and website advertisers to step up and support the show and StepfamilySystems.com website so that parents leading stepfamilies can find encourage, hear about new resources and succeed in marriage so that their children can become better focused students, if they are distracted by distressed households, and so we will have give-aways for these families to create their own shared, family memories.

          Thank you for tuning in on Saturdays at 11:00 a.m., pst, to NewDayTalkRadio.com!

StepfamilyMom

Be sure to tune into “Stepfamily Straight Talk” beginning July 25 at 11:00 a.m. – 11:50 a.m., pst, at NewDayTalkRadio.com. Stepfamilymom’s Weblog posts are opinion, life experience and observation based. They are not meant to be taken as financial, legal or psychological advice. You are encouraged to seek out professional advice before taking action on any similar situations you might face and read about in the blog.  (C) 2009 - No part of this posting is permitted to be copied or transferred in any form without the written consent of the author.

When the other parent doesn’t want peace.

         When I married in 1985, I had imagined my instant care-providing opportunities would be like having nieces and nephews over - fun, fun, fun. I didn’t have the children call me mommy – they already had one. I seemed to get along well enough with their mother until the wedding that made me a permanent family fixture. Something changed. Perceptions changed.

          I expected our stepfamily unit would function like the one into which I had been adopted. My mom had taught me labels weren’t necessary – family is family and she didn’t have any “step” family members; it didn’t matter how we come together.  My three stepchildren were immediately absorbed into the E-H clan and there were no second thoughts as to whether or not they were family.

          I believe position “labels” can and often do have a negative impact on the family’s blending ability. I constantly struggled putting the word “step” before the children when introducing them. Not because I wanted to be recognized as their mother, but because I didn’t want them feeling different, less than part of the family while we were together nor to be reminded their first family was broken, and I didn’t want to feel like a second-hand mother.  Their mom didn’t want them to embrace me with their hearts as another mom, either; I get that.  Every stepfamily’s composition is as different as the family members in it. 

          The relationship between the parents after divorce most greatly impacts the children and the peace or strife between co-parenting homes. I used to think divorced families that litigated faired less well than families that mediated their way out of relationships to move on. Through researching periodicals, books and articles it became clear that it is the quality of the relationship between the parents after the divorce that matters so greatly to the adjustment of the children. Did you hear that? It is the quality of the relationship between the parents after the divorce that matters so greatly to the adjustment of the children.

          What I have found is that not all parents want peace.  It’s true.  Some have bitter left-overs – unresolved feelings they can’t let go of for some reason. Some are just angry – the divorce is a reminder of things that hurt them when they were children.  Some are immature – they refuse to grow up and accept responsibility for their choices and they blame everyone else for the trouble. Some don’t want peace because keeping dissention between the family members gives them power and control. Some have boyfriends or girlfriends feeding the dissention between homes. It takes someone confident and mature to enter a stepfamily. Needy people just don’t fair well. Sometimes you just can’t figure things out.

         You want peace. The other party won’t accept it. No matter what you try it is perceived incorrectly. So you know what the reality is, and as difficult as it is, you have to move on without the vision you had planned. If you are a person of faith, trust that God has all the details in His hands. You can’t make anyone change. They must want change to change themselves. Find another avenue for your time and attention and make the conscious decision to live at peace as best you can.

StepfamilyMom

Be sure to tune into “Stepfamily Straight Talk” beginning July 25 at 11:30 a.m. – 12:50 p.m., pst, at NewDayTalkRadio.com. Stepfamilymom’s Weblog posts are opinion, life experience and observation based. They are not meant to be taken as financial, legal or psychological advice. You are encouraged to seek out professional advice before taking action on any similar situations you might face and read about in the blog.  (C) 2009 - No part of this posting is permitted to be copied or transferred in any form without the written consent of the author.